Total
Recall's Humor Page
Data
on the following pages is pulled from different sites on the internet.
It has not been edited for content and may be offensive to some readers.
Please view these jokes and bumper snickers at your own discretion!
The user
of these pages acknowledges that life is a hazardous sport; that a person
must remain in control, and use good judgement at all times; that users'
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes
and previous use; and that dirty screens, variations in terrain surfaces,
forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural
and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and customers,
exist throughout the area. Personal managers and operations and equipment
are constantly in use and may be hazardous to those not in control.
Collisions and other accidents resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those operating in control with proper equipment. As a condition
of being permitted to view this information, the user agrees to remain
in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges
and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury
or loss to person or damage to property which might result from use of
these facilities.
As a further condition of being permitted to view this material, the
reader understands and agrees that: in the event of a transfer of use by
another or anything else in the management's opinion is misconduct, misuse,
or nuisance, this service may be revoked without refund; These pages are
the property of the owner (wherever they may be) and is not transferable;
see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582.
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Ask your doctor
or pharmacist. Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside.
Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of the
publisher; just don't edit or change it. You may or may not have additional
rights which may vary from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstasy). Not
recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and
frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Does
not come with any other figures. Any resemblance to real persons, living
or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required.
List each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment.
Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use
while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid
by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to
affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use
other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb.
All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician.
No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton.
Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes
acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size
fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco
ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem
to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Net weight
before cooking. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any
mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office
will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing.
Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible
for direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from
any defect, error, or failure to perform. At participating locations only.
Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawl. Do not write below this line. Falling rock.
Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add
toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection.
Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt.
Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are
not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions
before the show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery.
You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No
purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep
away from fire or flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans.
Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown
is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended
for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited.
No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate
dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver
does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear
for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back
of previous stub. This supersedes all previous notices. Drive carefully;
90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
The above is a public service announcement of this institution.
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